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  4. Embracing Ourselves: The Voice Dialogue Manual by Hal Stone
  5. Embracing Our Selves: Voice Dialogue Manual

It upset her because spirituality was not a legitimate part of her goat nature rationality. The following experience resulted:. I awakened from a dream feeling very disturbed. I could not go back to sleep so I went down to the living room and lit a cigarette. The kitchen light was on, throwing a shaft of light into the living room, so I did not turn on any other light.

Our living room rug is sand-colored and the path of light from the kitchen door illuminated it. I was idly looking at this portion of the rug when it suddenly seemed filled with writing. We have a clear plate glass top on the coffee table and I thought that perhaps a letter was lying on it and the light had somehow projected the writing onto the rug, but there was no letter on the coffee table. I even moved the coffee table but the writing remained. I then tried to rub it out with my foot, thinking that the children had been writing in the nap of the rug with their fingers. Still it persisted, so I sat down to try to read it but was unable to.

I thought: Whoever you are, please show me what you are trying to say. The words then appeared on the rug one at a time and I was able to read them. This occurred each time I felt confusion. It no longer seemed like a sand-colored rug but more like sand itself with words etched deeply into it. These are the words I can recall:.

You meet yourself not yet. You must love your life. Find a mind whose hope is a light to light the way for your soul. Why have you not hoped? Now you have begun again. Put love next to hope and follow them to your self. The voyage has begun. I closed my eyes and thought, this is crazy. I am imagining this. Writing cannot appear on a carpet.

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Something said to me: Can you throw stones at those who will not see? I opened my eyes and the writing was gone. I got up and looked closely at the space where it had been. I felt it must have left some mark because it had not been written on the surface but with depth, as if it were actually written in sand. There was not a trace. I was angry with myself because I had not accepted it at once and thus had lost some of the words. In the tiger story, the roar of awakening represents the discovery of our basic instinctual nature. It tells us we must fully become what we are.

Ralph discovered the lost little boy of his childhood who would be reclaimed through this process. Her vision initiated her into a different reality. She was asked to find a new mind—a mind of hope that could light the way for her soul. The voice of her spiritual nature offered such a different teaching from what she had known until now! In effect, she was being asked to develop new ways of thinking that were more compatible with the realities of these emergent spiritual energies.

The evolution of consciousness is filled with such surprises. In contrast to Marilyn, Jane was working on the issue of empowerment. Her roar of awakening happened during psychotherapy. She had learned how to be powerful in the world, but at the expense of her inner child and her basic instinctual reactions. As a result of this process, Jane became aware of the child, and thus successfully separated from it. A few nights later she encountered her lost instinctual energies in the following dream:.

I am in a room with a small Hon. I rush to the door, quite terrified, and open it and push the lion out. I come back into the room, breathing a sigh of relief, when I see another, much larger Hon. I am terrified and I rush to the door to open it, but the lion gets there first, preventing me from opening the door to either get it out or leave it behind. This dream is very much like our tiger story. This time, however, it is a lion that our dreamer must face. She cannot escape her lion, and it grows and becomes more powerful. In fact, the lion is an aspect of herself that can no longer be ignored.

By facing this lion and learning to use its energies, she will make the power of her instincts available. With this power, she can successfully care for herself and, in particular, for her inner child. This is true empowerment: Our vulnerability is available in relationships in a conscious way, and our instinctual energies are also available to function protectively.

Thus, our energies are balanced; we do not need to behave in a particularly assertive fashion for we are quite naturally in a position of power.


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We have referred to the fact that we are made up of many selves. These selves have been referred to in many different ways by many different people. We use the terms selves, subpersonalities, and energy patterns interchangeably throughout this book. The concept that we are made up of different selves is sometimes difficult to understand. Some people object to this idea, arguing that such a theory fragments the personality.

We feel that it is already fragmented, and our task is to become aware of this fragmentation or multiplicity of selves so that we can make valid choices in our lives.

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These contradictory feelings are apparent in all of us at one time or another. The higher the emotional stakes, the more likely we are to experience a variety of feelings in any given situation. I wish she would stay and keep me company forever. Or think of a man who is offered a promotion to a key leadership position. Needless to say, one part of him is overjoyed and looks forward to the challenge, the authority, and the excitement that come with the position.

Another part regrets the loss of camaraderie that necessarily accompanies this move up from the ranks. How do these selves develop? A newborn infant is a unique human being who comes into the world with its own genetic make-up that determines its physiology and some of its behavior and with a specific quality of being unique to the infant. Any woman who has had more than one child will readily acknowledge how different each child was, even in utero. After birth this difference is even more apparent. The newborn infant is quite defenseless, totally vulnerable, and dependent upon the adult world for its survival.

However, along with its basic, unique psychic fingerprint, the infant also has the potential to develop an infinite array of energy patterns or selves, the sum total of which will constitute the individual personality. At this point in life, the armoring of our vulnerability and the development of our personality begin. The infant learns that he or she must establish some measure of control over the environment to avoid unpleasantness. This development of control is actually the evolution of the personality. Personality develops as a way of dealing with vulnerability. The stronger the developing personality, the farther away the child moves from vulnerability, from its psychic fingerprint.

It loses contact with its unique being as it learns to be powerful. How does this process work? How does the child become more powerful? The child learns, for example, that the mother is very happy when baby smiles. Now baby may enjoy smiling, but soon enjoyment will be overridden by the knowledge that smiling brings about certain consequences.

Aggression is also either rewarded or punished. It may be seen as a means of mastering the world or it may be treated as negative or antisocial behavior. In some instances, the child might try to establish some measure of control over the environment by retreating into fantasy. Daydreams may then become a key factor in shaping the personality. For example, a young boy whose parents separated developed a fantasy that he was in a submarine deep under the sea.

He spent increasing amounts of time in his fantasy submarine in an effort to make himself feel better. Objectively speaking, he was obviously retreating from pain. On another level, he had found a way of dealing with his extreme vulnerability. In contrast, another child realized that success in school was the key to mastering his environment and protecting his vulnerable selves, so he developed his ambitious side and his pleasing characteristics.

In our developmental process we are rewarded for certain behaviors and punished for others; thus, some selves are strengthened and others are weakened.

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We learn our lessons well and consequently develop personalities. It is strange to think that a personality is actually a system of subpersonalities selves that eradicates our psychic fingerprint as it brings us control—and thereby power—in the world. In fact, one of the earliest aspects of our personality to develop is the self that watches over us.

It is like a bodyguard—constantly searching for dangers that may lurk around us and determining how it can best protect us from them. It incorporates parental and societal injunctions and controls our behavior, to a large extent, by establishing a set of rules that it feels will ensure our safety and our acceptance by others.

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It decides how emotional we can be. It makes sure we do not act foolishly or in ways in which we might embarrass ourselves. For example, it will utilize the energies of the rational self and the responsible parent as a way of maintaining control over our environment. It is. This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue? Upload Sign In Join. Home Books Self-Improvement.

Save For Later. Create a List. Dan Brown. The Girl on the Train. Paula Hawkins. Practicing the Power of Now. Eckart Tolle. Big Magic. Elizabeth Gilbert. The Art of Mindfulness. Thich Nhat Hanh. Mark Manson. Pam Grout. Stillness Speaks. Don Miguel Ruiz. The Power of Habit. Charles Duhigg. Laura Vanderkam. Jordan B. Marie Kondo. Daring Greatly. Dying to Be Me. Anita Moorjani. Proof of Heaven.


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Embracing Ourselves: The Voice Dialogue Manual

Paul Kalanithi. All the Light We Cannot See. Anthony Doerr. Better Than Before. Gone Girl. Gillian Flynn. Rising Strong. Being in Balance. Wayne W. Rich Dad Poor Dad. Robert T. The High Mountains of Portugal. Yann Martel. The Goldfinch. Donna Tartt. Marshall B. Leaving Time with bonus novella Larger Than Life. Jodi Picoult.

Embracing Ourselves: The Voice Dialogue Manual by Hal Stone

Dan Harris. The Girl in the Spider's Web. David Lagercrantz. Dying to Survive. Rachael Keogh. My Sister's Voice. Mary Carter. The Rosie Effect. Graeme Simsion.

Embracing Our Selves: Voice Dialogue Manual

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