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The only reason you will feel a negative emotion is because either through the way you're perceiving things or the procedures you're using — specifically, the way you're communicating your needs and desires to people, or the actions you're taking. And as I mentioned earlier with the Emotional Triad, your perceptions are controlled by your focus and the way you interpret the meaning of things. You can easily change your perception by changing your physiology or asking a better question, to change your focus, and thus how you feel.
This is the key thing to remember: YOU are the source of all your emotions, you are the one who creates them. You can feel any way you choose at any moment in time. You don't need a special reason to feel good, you can just decide to feel good right now, simply because you're alive, or because you want to. We want to make sure that we utilize our negative emotions, or Action Signals, to learn from them and feel the way we want to feel.
Be thankful they are sending you a message. Cultivate the feeling of appreciation for all your emotions. They are there to serve you. Getting curious helps you master your emotion, solve the challenge, and prevent the same problem from occurring in the future. Here's some Empowering Questions to find the empowering meaning in any negative emotion or situation:. The fastest, simplest, and most powerful way to handle any emotion is to remember a time when you felt a similar emotion and realize that you've successfully handled this emotion before.
Again, you want to remember the ways you've handled this negative emotion in the past, and rehearse handling situations where this Action Signal would come up in the future. The final step is to get excited of the fact that you can easily handle this emotion and take some action right away to prove that you've handled it.
And when is the best time to handle an emotion? When you first begin to feel it! Obviously, to know how to master your emotions takes practice. The more that you use these 6 steps to emotional mastery, the better you will get at mastering your emotions. Meaning, every negative emotion has a message or call to action it's trying to give you. We want to identify that message, then learn and use our emotions to better us. The message is, you need to either change your perception or change your actions. Message: The anticipation that something thats going to happen soon needs to be prepared for.
This is good, as it gives you massive energy to prepare. Solution: a Review what you're feeling fearful about and evaluate what you must do to prepare yourself mentally. Figure out what actions you need to take to deal with the situation in the best possible way. Know that you've done all you can to prepare, and understand that very few fears in life ever come to fruition.
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Message: We have expectations that has not been met. Or, there's been a loss of intimacy or trust. This is good, because it shows you have a big heart and care about your life. Maybe what you need to lose is the false perception that this person is trying to wound or hurt you. Is there really loss here? Or am I judging this situation too soon, or too harshly? Can you clarify for me what really happened? Message: An important rule or standard that you hold for your life has been violated by someone else, or maybe by you. This is good, as it gives you a passion and fire for you to make things right.
Solution: a Realize you may have misinterpreted the situation completely. Maybe the person breaking your rules don't realize how important it is to you. Message: This is an exciting signal.go
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It means your brain belives you could be doing better than you currently are. The solution is within range, but what you're currently doing isn't working, and you need to change your approach. This signal is telling you to be more flexible in your approach. Solution: a Realize frustration is your friend. Brainstorm ways to get a result.
How can you flex your approach? Find a role model, someone who has found a way to get what you want. Message: An expectation you have had is probably not going to happen, so it's time to change your expectations to make them more appropriate for this situation, take action to set and achieve a new goal immediately. This is good as it shows the depth of the caring you have and the high standards your set.
Solution: a Immediately figure out what you can learn from the situation that could help you achieve teh very thing you're after in the first place.
Often it's just a temporary challenge. Re-evaluate what you want and develop a more effective plan. Message: Tells you that you've violated one of your own highest standards and must do something immediately to ensure you're not going to violate that standard again. This is a good, because it's your internal compass for doing what you believe to be right. Solution: a Acknowledge that you have violated a critical standard you have for yourself. Utilize guilt to drive you to hold yourself to a higher standard in the future.
Message: That you don't presently have a level of skill necessary for the task at hand. You need more information, understanding, strategies, tools, or confidence. This is good because it moves you to learn, grow and contribute to others.
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Understand you don't need to be perfect. You can begin to feel adequate by commiting to constant and never-ending improvement. Message: Re-evaluate whats most important to you in this situation. John Paul Minda is a professor of psychology at the University of Western Ontario in London, Ontario, who studies cognition and thinking as well as mindfulness. Minda pointed to some recent research by Lindsay and Cresswell on mindfulness and attention monitoring.
Start with two minutes to exercise your mind. This is akin to maintaining a healthy body. Allow the breath to move all the way down, expanding the diaphragm, allowing the belly to expand. Observe your thoughts, your emotions, and how your body feels. I am noticing tightening in my stomach and heat rising to my face. Fortunately for you, lawyers are excellent at practicing. She regularly speaks and offers training on mindfulness and meditation. Sponsored Content. From setting goals to creating a one-year plan, this must-have report can guide you through the tasks.
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