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Funny Quote Topics

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  2. Coburg Banks
  3. Funny Inspirational Quotes Celebrating Life & Success ()
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Gandhi Cool Quotes The truth hurts, and so would you if you were stretched as much. Author Unknown Truth Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time. Margaret Bonnano Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. Bill Gates Funny Work Quotes If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.

Maya Angelou Amazing A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. Bob Hope The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does. Proverb Funny Proverbs Sports are the reason I am out of shape.

Funny famous quotes - top 10 best funniest, worth laughing quotes and sayings

I watch them all on TV. Thomas Sowell Sports Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, politicians. All three need supervision. Dick Armey Wealth A sister smiles when one tells one's stories - for she knows where the decoration has been added. Chris Montaigne Funny Sister Quotes It is a common delusion that you can make things better by talking about them. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Woody Allen Laughter I don't want to be a genius - I have enough problems just trying to be a man.

Melanie White Thanksgiving The reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have come. Nicky Gumbel Giving Up You can practice shooting 8 hours a day, but if your technique is wrong, then all you become is very good at shooting the wrong way. Michael Jordan Practice Quality is more than important than quantity.

One home run is much better than two doubles. Steve Jobs Quality New Year's resolutions work like this: you think of something you enjoy doing and then resolve to stop doing it. Charlie Brooker New Year They say that parenting is like dancing. You take one step, your child takes another. Michael Jackson Dance ". I ask people if an elephant has ever bitten them.

Most of the time people say no. But everyone has been bitten by a mosquito. It's the little things that get us. Charles Dickens , Great Expectations Sunshine "Some people die at twenty-five and aren't buried until they are seventy-five.

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Byron Pulsifer Procrastination Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn Possibilities Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. Will Rogers An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. Winston S. Churchill "A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

Make sure you don't go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won't laugh at you. Jim Rohn Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know that so it goes on flying anyway. And don't get too high when things are good.

George Burns at years Respect Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water! Eleanor Roosevelt Overcoming "If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito. Anne Frank Giving A business like an automobile, has to be driven, in order to get results.


Coburg Banks

BC Forbes Determination "The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine. Rabindranath Tagore Action Talkers are usually more articulate than doers, since talk is their specialty. Thomas Sowell Actions Speak Louder Than Words Quotes Without a plan of action to put how a dream is envisioned to play out is like pouring out of picture of water on the ground and expecting it to stay in on the surface of the ground. It is like a ferry boat for people who want to get across waters.

Once you have got across, never bear it on your back. You should head forward. Ann Landers You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights. My writers were funny. My direction was funny.

The situations were funny. But I am not funny. I am not funny. What I am is brave. Lucille Ball Courage "Life is the movie you see through your own eyes. It makes little difference what's happening out there. It's how you take it that counts. Maya Angelou Attitude The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it.

You're only as young as your spine is flexible. Bob Harper Yoga It's funny how we don't like to hear correction as children, but later on when we begin to experience our own lives; we will understand the purpose of the training and correction. Diane Winbush, Reflections of A Father Children "They are ill discoverers that think there is no land when they see nothing but sea. George Burns Wise I had so many freckles that my mother used to say that they were kisses from the angels.

Lara Flynn Boyle Angel If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? If you're alive, it isn't. Brigitte Bardot "A laugh is a smile that bursts. Waldrip Short Positive Quotes We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. George Bernard Shaw You need to be comfortable with you. Stop worrying about the couple in the corner who may or may not be looking at you funny. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. Joad I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.

George Carlin A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright. Lucille Ball How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years gotten enough to eat and escaped being eaten? Logan Pearsall Smith Age Cause your facial expression to change - smile. Catherine Pulsifer Change From his neck down a man is worth a couple of dollars a day, from his neck up he is worth anything that his brain can produce.

Thomas Edison Genius He knows nothing; he thinks he knows everything - that clearly points to a political career. Never forget this when working with people. Mary Kay Ash Work Did you ever notice how difficult it is to argue with someone who is not obsessed with being right? Wayne Dyer Encouraging Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

Bill Vaughan Money The truth can be funny but it's not funny to cover up the truth. Ryan Cooper, Difficult People Honesty "When the pregnancy test stick turns blue, the light to fatherhood goes green. Dad Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow. Reed Markham Father Middle age is when you can still do everything you used to do - but you decide you'll do it tomorrow.

Tom Haggai Birthday Can I give you a handful of laughter, a smidgen of giggles to boot, a cupful of tease and a comical sneeze, followed by a hilarious hoot. John McLeod, A Handful of Laughter Funny Poems Turning our abilities from stagnate puddles to rushing rivers can happen when we apply ourselves to the task. Warren Philip Gates, Success and the Powerful Introvert Positive Our minds are like monkeys, swinging from one thought to another like monkeys on a tree.

As a result, we always feel as if a sense of order, balance, awareness and concentration elude us, because we are always doing, always acting. We spend half our time trying to fit in with the crowd and the other half trying to stand out from it. Nick Vujicic Today's opportunities erase yesterday's failures.

Funny Inspirational Quotes Celebrating Life & Success ()

Gene Brown Failure One fails forward toward success. Laurence J. Peter Future You cannot be anything if you want to be everything. Solomon Schechter Focus Remember that sometimes people laugh when something is actually funny, but often they laugh when they lack the imagination to understand the situation.

The tighter you squeeze, the less water you get. When you chase it, your life becomes the chase, and you become a victim of always wanting more. Dyer, Everyday Wisdom For Success One of the most successful ways companies get the consumer's attention is by presenting the product in a funny or emotional way. Most of us have gears we never use. Charles M.

Schulz Tension is a habit. Relaxing is a habit. Bad habits can be broken, good habits formed. Marie Osmond. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? Louis C. Life is a blank canvass, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can. Danny Kaye. If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.

Frank Zappa. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. Scratch where it itches. Alice Roosevelt Longworth.

Funny inspirational quotes for work and life

Josh Billings. Good things come to those who wait… greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen.

  1. Funny Quotes ( quotes).
  2. LAUGH A LITTLE: A collection of short funny quotes and jokes;
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  4. Funny Quotes?

Charles Schulz. Edison failed 10, times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times. Napoleon Hill. Richard Bach. Cassandra Duffy. By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. Robert Frost. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.

I feel better already.

Wealthy Gorilla

Dave Barry. Martina Navratilova. We collect and curate only the best quotes, and display them in a clutter free, aesthetic list.